A Moral Recollection

It’s not easy but wise to revisit a memoire. Whilst staring at what did really happened, apart from bringing mystical goosebumps, one could hardly refrain from a little known fact that it was you behind but ahead of everything. 

Explore with the me, how I lead a little stage of my life and how I see it fading forcibly in breeze of a new time that’s on the way! 

Things began with an oblivion, while lifting my brown eyes before a summertime sunrise and having a beautiful fear of what’s coming up next. I had to move to a place I have never been to, in addition to the fact that I have to be there for few years to come. I got to learn my predecessors might have learnt, so fulfilling the promise of leading was lurking on my head. 

With a little of something I believe I had, I reached where every face was a painting coming out of dark colors in a brighter place. In a room full of people already leading a conversation, I asked the designated leader to let me in. The voices were a first to me ear and I admit for someone like me, it was a gift. For more of summer days coming up, I borrowed from the new people the essence of living a life, in a better way I must say. The ones that had the capacity to hold the thoughts I possess, went on to be my friends. Those who don’t, disagreed to be my competitors! So, living up and down and still waging neutral proved to be rather enjoyable. Where heading into newer horizons is a blessing, I seem to shower into blessings with every mornings coming! Because I remember in the crescent memory, how I let myself explore the real me and how I come to see this world so wild and free.

Everything I once had was forgotten, but for a little while until I knew that was all a dream. 

A dream is something that knows no begin and no end just as life is it to us. That was life, a breathing hope at all times. Even a bad hope, for god’s sake! I can’t say how it was meant to be a dream, I just made it a dream and I fail to make one after years that happened to come. I’m into something I believed was closer to fiction, and it seems to be closing down without a clear sense of what to happen next, without a full stop

I swirled around the world and informed no one what I’m onto. That seems to be a mistake the economists call business. When into the real world trade of emotions, one can hardly emit positivity before the world seem ending. It’s not what we strive for, not what we dream and atleast not what we deserve. When hope is a damage to the society, positivity an evil and being human, a disgrace. 

Why I term it as a Moral Recollection is what that makes me feel the real steal. It’s what you make you out of you and still keep of longing that you were never you what you really wanted to be. What this ‘real you’ was I think I shall never be able to understand. But I do possess the decency to oppose the authority of destiny. It is on its own reasons to peel off the me out of myself, the little possession I share along with being decent. 

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Fear

To all my virtues, I have my word, “Fear”. And for all that’s fearsome, ask it to be friends, indeed. 

While you are taking your first slide into deep waters, or an unmentored jump over your head to the reality, Fear keeps you alive. The adrenaline rush into your body acting as a snake finding his food is nonetheless triggered by Fear. 
And I guess, you know Fear, right? Or knowing is just a little word for realising Fear! Maybe you just need a redefinition… 

An unmanned, unexpected, undefined, real and proportionally realised motional factor of existence is Fear which can be encountered by only those capable of extending their mental range at a point that contracts with possessing nothing that they ever had.” 



I realised this definition of Fear after having a silent conversation with Fear itself. It was a little short but interesting exchange of few ideas that had shooked me off my veins and certainly out of Fear I had come out to post this to my people after lots of cuts. I had my hands shaking but still hitting them against the wall gave me strength, the wobble in my legs was unignorable and my eyes saw nothing but scary wings of darkness waiting to clutch me into its hands and I had severely deemed to realise the definition of Fear and you must appreciate it! And truly admire me if I ever will be able to let your mind wander across horizons truly out of Fear of anything that anything is not anything out of blue, out of action or out of any belief. So, start admiring me now! 
Read in between the lines, and believe what I am saying is truth. Feel free to disregard your intelligence and mental wits. 

Feel the fear!

About Hope

Behold! Because there is yet to be seen, yet to be believed and yet to disagree from!” 

Funny, how in some ways we get happy and some ways we dive deep in the oceans of sadness. And funny, how human predicts happiness, when in sadness and also in happiness. Because with happiness comes hope that this day will be better than what it is today, or even now for the very best of the moment. But who knows the story behind the doors of Hope? 

What is Hope? 

I believe hope is what sets you free, to choose, to believe and to admire the change that you want in your hope. It’s tangible to what you think, and what steps YOU take to take the notion to another level. 




What does it takes to be hopeful? 

I guess determination. It’s because you are hopeful because you think you can achieve. And it takes great determination to achieve what you really want to. 


Is Being hopeful positive or negative? 

Very tactful question indeed. It’s both positive as well as negative. It’s positive because you are free to set an aim and change for that. It’s negative because you don’t have rely on hope that things are going to change on the basis of your hope. 


Why Hope is so chichē concept in contemporary world? 

Negatively! People hope for change, hope for justice, hope for clarity and particularly hope for everything. It’s not bad but as I earlier said relying all the way on hopes is awkward. This is pretty chichē  too! 


What should anyone do to be hopeful, positively?! 

Hope is a secondary concept. The primary one is integrity. Your heart and mind should be in good integrity with each other so that the sync process should keep on without delays . These delays will make you hopeless in second place. You are surely active to know when you are hopeless. So, in that moment talk to yourself and take your heart wherever your mind wants to. It may go in wrong direction but you shall learn something. And learning is not wrong. Be wrong, but change for the right once again. You shall be hopeful and your destiny will follow your way! 


Is it so easy? 

Are you so eased out to realise what is so easy or what is not? You are giving an exam, time is running out and your conscience wants you to realise if what you are doing is easy or not, if it’s worth or not, will you be benefitted or whatever. It’s not going to matter anyway, and you have to give the test of life. There’s no choice! There’s no such option to opt out because you don’t have to. Why? Because it’s what that is shaping you, that’s why you are alive. 




Being Foolish

For all people searching the meaning of life…

Who do we say is foolish?

 

I see the foolishness all around.

That’s my foolishness for bearing all the foolishness that this world have.

Now, I be the foolish; to not label myself foolish or my family members or my peers .

My belief that I rub everything above and never let the world know what really a foolish is; is foolish.

Or my posture or my behavior or my intention or only myself being just,foolish.

 

At any point of time, some sort of alien intelligence is surely due to over ride your abilities. Before a strong competitor, you surely going to lose. And at the end, nothing is going to matter.

What’s this ‘alien intelligence’, who’s this ‘strong competitor’ and what’s exactly the’ end’?

The answer no one knows the answer to, the lust that no one can ever fulfill and the future that any other distinction cannot hold, is the answer. We are hesitant to recognize, realize and prove, failing to acknowledge, but curious to know. We hold our hands together, trace our faces, and walk by our sides, but still…

 

Still we find our destinations and still we prefer going back. We label ourselves travelers, who finds his destinations and is equally determined to get back where he started, maybe to just let the world know, where he started. And where he started is where the world can start. Not just follow the footsteps but just prefer finding a little new way, a sweet other fruit to taste.

 

Label me foolish for letting you stroll where no one else does.

 

James Clear says,” Motivation is overvalued. Environment often matters more.”

I believe he’s right. Sorry for being foolish, believing in what others has to say. Or not others but somebody. Or somebody with something special.

 

Foolish is being identified. Being known.Being yourself.

The answer that I somehow, came to know.

And felt to foolish to spread…

 

There’s All Spams Existing that Exists

And such is a phenomenon. When it rains in dire summers, it’s acid rain that rains.

 

Listening to my favorite artist shuffled anomalously while on the go may probably be the best thing that happens with me most of the time. Because there I feel a little fortunate, a little alive and a little connected with The Almighty in the means of transferring ideas and demands and getting them fulfilled within a specific time repetition.

 

And so with this happiness, the wheel of life keeps rolling…

 

Here, this time its not really about Being Fortunate or Being Alive or Being Connected.

Its about Life which features nothing like this.

 

I am about to introduce a concept named ‘Certain‘. Feel free to relate it to yourself at times. It all begins at severe verbal with oneself. An introspection. Its controversial at times being being possessive but Hello! This is how this happens!

 

  • Certain crisp voices are feeling free to get scripted over this space.
  • Certain factors are irresistibly powerful to just let go.
  • Certain events have led us here.
  • Certain memories, beliefs have inspired to be like this.
  • Certain emotional inferences ,probably, are more practical than the world itself.
  • Certainly you have nothing better other than being here.

 

Certainly you are in a Trap, because that Certain is nothing more than a spam, unto a percentage of a guess. You are just a Certain.

 

And everywhere there are spams existing all around. The race is to stand as a leader of all.

Certainly, its not a demotivation at all, I must confess, but atleast its an introspection.

Because its just a beginning…

 

P.S : I am glad that people from various communities and I don’t know from which particular sites are viewing or commenting on this blog with all the positive or negative reviews. But it is requested please DO NOT comment as a spam on this blog. Akismet will automatically designate it as spam and due to security reasons, I cannot approve those comments on this blog until and unless these are not from a secure or trusted or atleast specified source.

Brain

Hell, we are fooled,
Yet again,
By our ticky old foe.

He’s writing this text,
With his touch on the screen.
He’s watching the blank space,
Like a red bar waiting to turn blue.

Curious he sounds,
Blinking his eyes and smiling.
He’s fooling others,
Thinking he’s fooling.

To change his destiny,
He rather got guts.
But, he’s waiting,
To end this poem.

He relieves off his words,
Sprinkle it all across virtual space.
Still, believe someone’s there to watch,
And hids in himself a sham.

He’s admant,
To not to end this poem.
Because he’s not imaginative,
And like those poets in the ocean.

He hails from mud,
That’s why he knows nothing.
He is just walking,
And fooling everybody.

For all that he sees,
It’s all there for good, he knows.
And yet he keep seeing,
The good at all times.

At some word, this poem needs to end,
He knows that too.
Still he keeps on composing,
Like it’s creating a meaning.

He was an empty bowl,
Dried by intense sun, his water.
Nobody is there to slap him,
For all curiousness he had.

Maybe he had lost it all,
That’s why he is just composing it right.
And isn’t in a mood to end this all,
He is lonely basketball player.

He is clapping,
Maybe some curiousness still awaits.
He is all there for himself,
He points it all this time.

All remixed, replenished once again,
In an utter new time.
For a memory he had hasn’t faded,
It’s vivid like a volcano fire.

He’s panning out,
To take a flight, rather to walk.
And forget everything he once had,
To let not devoid anymore.

He convinces his peers,
To shut this poem off.
And he won’t post this poem,
Because bokeh is never fake!

The Noise in The Backyard

I have been hearing this for quite awhile.

I have been ignorant to disregard it for an opportunity to listen.

 

But it had a meaning, inside that monotonous sound waves reaching my ear, it had a regularity and a clarity.

 

Let me just provide some essentials of this noise:

  1. It was coming from my backyard. This means i had put my back on it at all times.
  2. It was kinda repetitive. I can seamlessly figure the similarity between those waves at some time intervals.
  3. As it was a noise, it was really hard to listen. It kept stinging my ear and eventually my brain and the whole body.
  4. The source of this noise was initially unknown. Even though it was in my backyard, after raiding the location, I wasn’t really able to the origin of it.
  5. It wasn’t stopping alike incessant rains in the monsoons. You can just pray but it won’t stop. It won’t stop even you have ripped off all the trees in about 100 kms radius.
  6. You would literally realise the beginning and the end of the noise just like fade effects in music.
  7. It was trying to say something…

 

I had put my brains into it.

Thought I had lost immensely.

The thought was absolutely authentic until… I listened something else.

Like, something more important.

Something that I had experienced before but in, ignorance.

 

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,” My question…. was the simplest question, lying in every soul of every man from the foolish child to the wiser elder: it was a question without an answer to which one cannot live, as I had found by experience. It was :” What will come of what I am doing today or shall do tomorrow? What will come of my whole life?” Differently expressed, the question is:”Why should I live, why wish for anything, or do anything?” It can also be expressed thus: “Is there any meaning of life that inevitable dead awaiting me does not destroy?”

 

I had listened to the similar voice from my inside this time, clearly.

 

As I had got more engrossed into the subject, and eventually, the thought process had turned much more serious and demanding.

It took me days, weeks ,months and checkpoint of a year transition to interpret the signals. I still don’t believe whats been going on for quite awhile.

 

I tried conversing with the people in my circle to what it really could mean. Maybe, they could really help me out. Maybe they had experienced it before. Maybe, in their vicinities or maybe someone else could have expressed their views concerning the similar topic.

I sounded awful and awful I am sounding right now.

 

Let me just provide you some essentials of this voice:

  1. I knew the origin of the sound.
  2. I kinda recognise the events and ideas responsible for such origin.
  3. It also reverberates sometimes like a noise that I could barely interpret.
  4. The intervals it may come is pretty unclear.
  5. I may ignite them at times but cannot believe its happening.
  6. I maybe hesitate to offer myself a respite from the noise.
  7. It was trying to say something…

 

I had put my brains into it.

Distinctively, I had lost all hopes to interpret these signals.

The traffic was so high, I could barely walk along the sidewall.

I had hints, I gathered opinions just from myself, to where do these things lead to.

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,”One kind of knowledge did not reply to life’s question, the other kind replied directly confirming my despair, indicating not that the result at which I had arrived was the fruit of error or of a diseased state of my mind, but on the contrary that I had thought correctly, and that my thoughts coincided with the conclusions of the most powerful of human minds.”

 

I had got a slightest hint of my answer. But it was pending to be really understood. For if you go for straight opinion from an another human erred mind, it was a sin to commit that the same thing is happening with me which with God’s supreme decisiveness cannot happen. I wonder…

 

Nobody knew where I had arrived. My peers didn’t had a slightest hint and didn’t slightly I cared or bothered. But somehow I wanted them to have a realisation. I know it was all going to be vain or it was just better to be obscured. Maybe I wasn’t there enough?

 

All of the process wasn’t easy to render. It had taken much of my time and my valuables. And I still can’t figure out what was it upto, what is it motive, where it is leading to, when is this going to end, what more of myself is it going to take, or simply why?

I have not been backed off by myself during this tenure. I have going through jealously, competition or all simple facts of life that exist.

 

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,” Why does everything exist that exist, and why do I exist?” “Because it exists.”

 

This was a gamble I had made. Severely out of the strategy series of projections, possibly day dreaming of sorts. It had been so much successful in the hindering the situation of my mind. But it tried giving me real implications of existence and space in life. Its seldom tactfully jackpot to ask moronic questions where everybody exclaims how wondrous the demand is.

 

It was deliberately tailored scene before my eyes at all times. Like a rhythm that comprises of ups and downs and one-ups and two-downs. There was a hurry to transit every situation. Crisply  edited and graded movie of a sort.

 

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,” I understood that if I wish to understand life and its meaning, I must not live the life of  a parasite, but must live a real life, and taking the meaning given to live by real humanity and merging myself in that life – verify it.” 

 

I was stunned.

Stupefied, petrified like The Noble Laureate, John Nash told to his wife in the movie, A Beautiful Mind.