The Breakdown of the Presence

On the very first day of this year, I saw myself losing to spilling milk on the shelf by the virtue of excessive ignition on the stove. I went ignorant for a second to witness the new blueness of the year on the sky. I was wrong. I should have been careful…
As the world have shifted places, numerous words being put into our head, with newer views bracing our eyes and all those days and months we have spent in exploring the unexplored, I seem to believe more in maturity that is skipping out sight every awhile. With crook words and unforgivable incidents shaping our today’s self, I’m getting paranoid as to where are we heading to, and before I sleep, I want to make sure, as I write, that I get to what I wanted to, not what the world wishes me to or where they find me mingling up with them. Basically, in easy description, it could be like ‘ Finding out the real you’. I find that really cliche to write..
So, breaking soon the presence is what put to strike everyone’s right chord. It’s like correcting the basic grammar of the lyrics of life. It could be baseless, of course, pointing the poetry at it’s authenticity to prove what’s it trying to depict. See, no one likes playing goofs with time. It asks for clarity, but I’m sorry I can’t be clear enough.
I am the present you see, and I’m struck at nothing. I see a wide horizon through the window of my room shaping up my today. Even, a blatant kick at my back does the same job with greater efficiency. I walk through the roads that ferries me to my place daily. My car gets the job done for me with a push of my feet, even faster. I often ask people of my adequacy with them. The answer approximately comes positive. Few discussions with my notebook bring me same reply and even with more “true that” factor.
The memories that I have with me today is worthless if it doesn’t corrects me to what I do to fix my today. I fail my purpose if I don’t suggest my surrounding to be better. Silence could be fatal if I choose it to be my guest at all timesIf such words of mine are out in public, it shall be an outage as to what it really means. It shall be failure again if it fails to be understood. All in all, its a failed situation I’m into. Standing on the tip of the mountain I see and feel nothing but my breath getting high as there’s no one around. By the way it’s not the mountain I was supposed to be on. The Stars, they say, don’t light up the nights here!
I witness too much of “I’ness”, that’s once lost. Hesitance in acceptance of the truth of missing. That’s fine with me if I don’t skip a beat to the miraculous that’s bound to happen. Failure doesn’t surprises me anymore. I accumulate lots of winning attires on my body as just another thing shaping me my today. Fancy, it’s just another night and blow of emotion pushing me to admit what’s easy on life. Pity if it’s place in seclusion wherein I pledge to confuse life with a fairy tale; the sun doesn’t teach us the lesson of being consistent or we have finally found the concrete reason of as to who made this world and for what purpose!
Here it goes, a random talk on life!

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Way I Sound

Way I sound close and near, so calm,

Way world heard and narrated, so loud.

The show want me to say hard, and speak,

Let freedom set trends big and clear.

Not easily composed the time, it went questioning,

Again and again, those limits strained.

Limitless close to fear and dared to hate,

Life went short and high in meanings.

Not was my way nor did I say it should be,

But it flowed and never paused.

I set trends, one after the another,

It was me, all in me, all unclear.

Now I stepped into the world so new,

That millions words won’t enough be.

Straight road I murmur, it will see,

An end, a winner and a reward all clear.

She Came. She Saw. She Conquered.

 

She was in a tussle what to choose and what to loose. With loosened heart and frightening breath, she started walking towards the brightly lit stage. Her hair a bit curly, and lessened moisture on her lips, she glared the pavilion around her, blushed with humans all similar to her, all sheltered with a grey sky.

She skipped her hand on the microphone, binning away the lust of time and discovering the reason of being her. All her efforts have to answer now, with the the whole world leaving her not even a chunk of choice. She administered her soul and with misty voice she spoke,” Hello!”.

 

This she heard never from herself. She knew, the world welcome salutations. Now, she have to reply to herself, her modesty trembling again. ” I speak of nothing but truth, and forever shall the truth bestow the lives of everybody and now after being speech impaired for the whole of my life, I can admit… If I can have a voice, you can too! Give your voice a reason. The world listens to those who are strong enough to prove their point. Many gets a voice with destiny; give your destiny a return gift!”

 

She could hear the applause. This wasn’t for the voice she had, but the struggle and the aim she had for herself carefully crafted in her story. Her story, her little world of being the impossible and letting the world believe that wonders happen every time, this time again.

 

She, Ms. Anjana Noor, Creative Head at Gandhi Institute for Deaf and Dumb, who was speech impaired for 22 years of her life unknown to the fact that she could one day speak, ‘voiced’ her story at a gathering in New Delhi, India.

 

 

 

The Noise in The Backyard

I have been hearing this for quite awhile.

I have been ignorant to disregard it for an opportunity to listen.

 

But it had a meaning, inside that monotonous sound waves reaching my ear, it had a regularity and a clarity.

 

Let me just provide some essentials of this noise:

  1. It was coming from my backyard. This means i had put my back on it at all times.
  2. It was kinda repetitive. I can seamlessly figure the similarity between those waves at some time intervals.
  3. As it was a noise, it was really hard to listen. It kept stinging my ear and eventually my brain and the whole body.
  4. The source of this noise was initially unknown. Even though it was in my backyard, after raiding the location, I wasn’t really able to the origin of it.
  5. It wasn’t stopping alike incessant rains in the monsoons. You can just pray but it won’t stop. It won’t stop even you have ripped off all the trees in about 100 kms radius.
  6. You would literally realise the beginning and the end of the noise just like fade effects in music.
  7. It was trying to say something…

 

I had put my brains into it.

Thought I had lost immensely.

The thought was absolutely authentic until… I listened something else.

Like, something more important.

Something that I had experienced before but in, ignorance.

 

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,” My question…. was the simplest question, lying in every soul of every man from the foolish child to the wiser elder: it was a question without an answer to which one cannot live, as I had found by experience. It was :” What will come of what I am doing today or shall do tomorrow? What will come of my whole life?” Differently expressed, the question is:”Why should I live, why wish for anything, or do anything?” It can also be expressed thus: “Is there any meaning of life that inevitable dead awaiting me does not destroy?”

 

I had listened to the similar voice from my inside this time, clearly.

 

As I had got more engrossed into the subject, and eventually, the thought process had turned much more serious and demanding.

It took me days, weeks ,months and checkpoint of a year transition to interpret the signals. I still don’t believe whats been going on for quite awhile.

 

I tried conversing with the people in my circle to what it really could mean. Maybe, they could really help me out. Maybe they had experienced it before. Maybe, in their vicinities or maybe someone else could have expressed their views concerning the similar topic.

I sounded awful and awful I am sounding right now.

 

Let me just provide you some essentials of this voice:

  1. I knew the origin of the sound.
  2. I kinda recognise the events and ideas responsible for such origin.
  3. It also reverberates sometimes like a noise that I could barely interpret.
  4. The intervals it may come is pretty unclear.
  5. I may ignite them at times but cannot believe its happening.
  6. I maybe hesitate to offer myself a respite from the noise.
  7. It was trying to say something…

 

I had put my brains into it.

Distinctively, I had lost all hopes to interpret these signals.

The traffic was so high, I could barely walk along the sidewall.

I had hints, I gathered opinions just from myself, to where do these things lead to.

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,”One kind of knowledge did not reply to life’s question, the other kind replied directly confirming my despair, indicating not that the result at which I had arrived was the fruit of error or of a diseased state of my mind, but on the contrary that I had thought correctly, and that my thoughts coincided with the conclusions of the most powerful of human minds.”

 

I had got a slightest hint of my answer. But it was pending to be really understood. For if you go for straight opinion from an another human erred mind, it was a sin to commit that the same thing is happening with me which with God’s supreme decisiveness cannot happen. I wonder…

 

Nobody knew where I had arrived. My peers didn’t had a slightest hint and didn’t slightly I cared or bothered. But somehow I wanted them to have a realisation. I know it was all going to be vain or it was just better to be obscured. Maybe I wasn’t there enough?

 

All of the process wasn’t easy to render. It had taken much of my time and my valuables. And I still can’t figure out what was it upto, what is it motive, where it is leading to, when is this going to end, what more of myself is it going to take, or simply why?

I have not been backed off by myself during this tenure. I have going through jealously, competition or all simple facts of life that exist.

 

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,” Why does everything exist that exist, and why do I exist?” “Because it exists.”

 

This was a gamble I had made. Severely out of the strategy series of projections, possibly day dreaming of sorts. It had been so much successful in the hindering the situation of my mind. But it tried giving me real implications of existence and space in life. Its seldom tactfully jackpot to ask moronic questions where everybody exclaims how wondrous the demand is.

 

It was deliberately tailored scene before my eyes at all times. Like a rhythm that comprises of ups and downs and one-ups and two-downs. There was a hurry to transit every situation. Crisply  edited and graded movie of a sort.

 

Leo Tolstoy in his book,“The Confessions”  wrote,” I understood that if I wish to understand life and its meaning, I must not live the life of  a parasite, but must live a real life, and taking the meaning given to live by real humanity and merging myself in that life – verify it.” 

 

I was stunned.

Stupefied, petrified like The Noble Laureate, John Nash told to his wife in the movie, A Beautiful Mind. 

 

 

 

 

Fight!

People term it a silent battle.
I call it an open war.”

Turning the tables has never been so easy. Subte thoughts could be captured easily.

It could be jealousy, or hatred or simply disagreement to what’s persisting.

But.
It’s a war.
Because it’s a fight.

Justice is attained by those who deserve it. Sadly no one deserves it.”

You are your Chuck Norris ( pun! ).
The winner always wins. The loser always loses.
Simple.

You just have to have some guts to realise who you are.
A spectator or a spotlight?

They say,” Everything is fair in love and war.” But I want to add that ,” Fight is the most obvious one!” .

Fight! If it’s your mind toiling away for some tea time leisure or your body fraying around hopeless or your soul just letting everything go.

Freedom is what you should be looking out for.

You know when your body is tied with shackles, you are tortured every single moment, when you know what a second is going to cost when terror is going travel from your head to limbs ek baar nhii,, baar baar( not one time, but every time) and the master proprietor of all these deeds will be no one else than your brain.
You are surely going to’mind’ that logic in the end.

So, as I quoted before… Turning the tables have never been so easy!
Baby, it’s the one heck of time you better be should pushing through the walls instead of wailing for your own consequences at fucking (sorry) all times.

Sorry, but you have to keep your nuclear weapons hidden!

Let’s try to analyse the life of a fighter, Mohammad Ali whose real fight was outside the ring.

Inspired by this fantastic video.

Paddle Off!

“Paddle off to skies, only that’s what I see!”.

People seek million ways to travel places. People, have cash, credit,or kind to fuel their jouneys. People, however, know people who demand change, and change is the law of nature. People, however, anomously, recognize  this miniature effect of life.

” Only life is what we need, a little sunshine and a rose!”.

Jouneys are distances mingled up with stories. A conflict and a distinctive collaboration of solution seek to find solace in one’s journey.

An unprecedented need is the actual need. Not the prolonged need that puts extra burden on yourself, or you yourself are so incapable of eliminating the need for long.

So, practically it’s the summers out there. Look out of your window, and it’s blazing heat. These can sweat you, consequently dehydrate you, make you fall dizzy and ultimately….

Still you stand up, bring the summers alive and paddle across the skies.

” Aur raha pasine ka swaal, toh sath mei paani ki bottle le laina!”.
#translation
For solution of sweating, take a water bottle along!” .

Brings a meaning and logic altogether!